第 26 节
作者:青涩春天      更新:2022-07-12 16:22      字数:9322
  〃In a few hours you will have left this place;〃 he proceeded。 〃If
  I can help you to leave it with your mind at ease; I will。 There
  is more to be said between us than we have said up to this time。
  My future relations with Mr。 Armadale are still left undecided;
  and the serious question raised by my father's letter is a
  question which we have neither of us faced yet。〃
  He paused; and looked with a momentary impatience at the candle
  still burning on the table; in the morning light。 The struggle to
  speak with composure; and to keep his own feelings stoically out
  of view; was evidently growing harder and harder to him。
  〃It may possibly help your decision;〃 he went on; 〃if I tell you
  how I determined to act toward Mr。 Armadalein the matter of the
  similarity of our nameswhen I first read this letter; and when
  I had composed myself sufficiently to be able to think at all。〃
  He stopped; and cast a second impatient look at the lighted
  candle。 〃Will you excuse the odd fancy of an odd man?〃 he asked;
  with a faint smile。 〃I want to put out the candle: I want to
  speak of the new subject; in the new light。〃
  He extinguished the candle as he spoke; and let the first
  tenderness of the daylight flow uninterruptedly into the room。
  〃I must once more ask your patience;〃 he resumed; 〃if I return
  for a moment to myself and my circumstances。 I have already told
  you that my stepfather made an attempt to discover me some years
  after I had turned my back on the Scotch school。 He took that
  step out of no anxiety of his own; but simply as the agent of my
  father's trustees。 In the exercise of their discretion; they had
  sold the estates in Barbadoes (at the time of the emancipation of
  the slaves; and the ruin of West Indian property) for what the
  estates would fetch。 Having invested the proceeds; they were
  bound to set aside a sum for my yearly education。 This
  responsibility obliged them to make the attempt to trace mea
  fruitless attempt; as you already know。 A little later (as I have
  been since informed) I was publicly addressed by an advertisement
  in the newspapers; which I never saw。 Later still; when I was
  twenty…one; a second advertisement appeared (which I did see)
  offering a reward for evidence of my death。 If I was alive; I had
  a right to my half share of the proceeds of the estates on coming
  of age; if dead; the money reverted to my mother。 I went to the
  lawyers; and heard from them what I have just told you。 After
  some difficulty in proving my identityand after an interview
  with my stepfather; and a message from my mother; which has
  hopelessly widened the old breach between usmy claim was
  allowed; and my money is now invested for
  me in the funds; under the name that is really my own。〃
  Mr。 Brock drew eagerly nearer to the table。 He saw the end now to
  which the speaker was tending
  〃Twice a year;〃 Midwinter pursued; 〃I must sign my own name to
  get my own income。 At all other times; and under all other
  circumstances; I may hide my identity under any name I please。 As
  Ozias Midwinter; Mr。 Armadale first knew me; as Ozias Midwinter
  he shall know me to the end of my days。 Whatever may be the
  result of this interviewwhether I win your confidence or
  whether I lose itof one thing you may feel sure: your pupil
  shall never know the horrible secret which I have trusted to your
  keeping。 This is no extraordinary resolution; for; as you know
  already; it costs me no sacrifice of feeling to keep my assumed
  name。 There is nothing in my conduct to praise; it comes
  naturally out of the gratitude of a thankful man。 Review the
  circumstances for yourself; sir; and set my own horror of
  revealing them to Mr。 Armadale out of the question。 If the story
  of the names is ever told; there can be no limiting it to the
  disclosure of my father's crime; it must go back to the story of
  Mrs。 Armadale's marriage。 I have heard her son talk of her; I
  know how he loves her memory。 As God is my witness; he shall
  never love it less dearly through _me!_〃
  Simply as the words were spoken; they touched the deepest
  sympathies in the rector's nature: they took his thoughts back to
  Mrs。 Armadale's deathbed。 There sat the man against whom she had
  ignorantly warned him in her son's interests; and that man; of
  his own free…will; had laid on himself the obligation of
  respecting her secret for her son's sake! The memory of his own
  past efforts to destroy the very friendship out of which this
  resolution had sprung rose and reproached Mr。 Brock。 He held out
  his hand to Midwinter for the first time。 〃In her name; and in
  her son's name;〃 he said; warmly; 〃I thank you。〃
  Without replying; Midwinter spread the confession open before him
  on the table。
  〃I think I have said all that it was my duty to say;〃 he began;
  〃before we could approach the consideration of this letter。
  Whatever may have appeared strange in my conduct toward you and
  toward Mr。 Armadale may be now trusted to explain itself。 You can
  easily imagine the natural curiosity and surprise that I must
  have felt (ignorant as I then was of the truth) when the sound of
  Mr。 Armadale's name first startled me as the echo of my own。 You
  will readily understand that I only hesitated to tell him I was
  his namesake; because I hesitated to damage my positionin your
  estimation; if not in hisby confessing that I had come among
  you under an assumed name。 And; after all that you have just
  heard of my vagabond life and my low associates; you will hardly
  wonder at the obstinate silence I maintained about myself; at a
  time when I did not feel the sense of responsibility which my
  father's confession has laid on me。 We can return to these small
  personal explanations; if you wish it; at another time; they
  cannot be suffered to keep us from the greater interests which we
  must settle before you leave this place。 We may come now〃 His
  voice faltered; and he suddenly turned his face toward the
  window; so as to hide it from the rector's view。 〃We may come
  now;〃 he repeated; his hand trembling visibly as it held the
  page; 〃to the murder on board the timber…ship; and to the warning
  that has followed me from my father's grave。〃
  Softlyas if he feared they might reach Allan; sleeping in the
  neighboring roomhe read the last terrible words which the
  Scotchman's pen had written at Wildbad; as they fell from his
  father's lips:
  〃Avoid the widow of the man I killedif the widow still lives。
  Avoid the maid whose wicked hand smoothed the way to the
  marriageif the maid is still in her service。 And; more than
  all; avoid the man who bears the same name as your own。 Offend
  your best benefactor; if that benefactor's influence has
  connected you one with the other。 Desert the woman who loves you;
  if that woman is a link between you and him。 Hide yourself from
  him under an assumed name。 Put the mountains and the seas between
  you; be ungrateful; be unforgiving; be all that is most repellent
  to your own gentler nature; rather than live under the same roof
  and breathe the same air with that man。 Never let the two Allan
  Armadales meet in this world; never; never; never!〃
  After reading those sentences; he pushed the manuscript from him;
  without looking up。 The fatal reserve which he had been in a fair
  way of conquering but a few minutes since; possessed itself of
  him once more。 Again his eyes wandered; again his voice sank in
  tone。 A stranger who had heard his story; and who saw him now;
  would have said; 〃His look is lurking; his manner is bad; he is;
  every inch of him; his father's son。〃
  〃I have a question to ask you;〃 said Mr。 Brock; breaking the
  silence between them; on his side。 〃Why have you just read that
  passage in your father's letter?〃
  〃To force me into telling you the truth;〃 was the answer。 〃You
  must know how much there is of my father in me before you trust
  me to be Mr。 Armadale's friend。 I got my letter yesterday; in the
  morning。 Some inner warning troubled me; and I went down on the
  sea…shore by myself before I broke the seal。 Do you believe the
  dead can come back to the world they once lived in? I believe my
  father came back in that bright morning light; through the glare
  of that broad sunshine and the roar of that joyful sea; and
  watched me while I read。 When I got to the words that you have
  just heard; and when I knew that the very end which he had died
  dreading was the end that had really come; I felt the horror that
  had crept over him in his last moments creeping over me。 I
  struggled against myself; as _he_ would have had me struggle。 I
  tried to be all that was most repellent to my own gentler nature;
  I tried to think pitilessly of putting the mountains and the seas
  between me and the man who bore my name。 Hours passed before I
  could prevail on myself to go back and run the risk of meeting
  Allan Armadale in this house。 When I did get back; and when he
  met me at night on the stairs; I thought I was looking him in the
  face as _my_ father looked _his_ father in the face when the
  cabin door closed between them。 Draw your own conclusions; sir。
  Say; if you like; that the inheritance of my father's heathen
  belief in fate is one of the inheritances he has left to me。 I
  won't dispute it; I won't deny that all through yesterday _his_