第 49 节
作者:人生几何      更新:2022-07-08 12:26      字数:9322
  ay; free to fly and face the last vengeance of the Holy Gods! Alas!
  and alas! I did not dare to die。 Better the earth with all its woes
  than the quick approach of those unimagined terrors that; hovering in
  dim Amenti; wait the advent of the fallen。
  I grovelled on the ground and wept tears of agony for the lost
  unchanging pastwept till I could weep no more; but no answer came
  from the silenceno answer but the echoes of my grief。 Not a ray of
  hope! My soul wandered in a darkness more utter than that which was
  about meI was forsaken of the Gods and cast out of men。 Terror took
  hold upon me crouching in that lonely place hard by the majesty of the
  awful Dead。 I rose to fly。 How could I fly in this gloom?And where
  should I fly who had no place of refuge? Once more I crouched down;
  and the great fear grew on me till the cold sweat ran from my brow and
  my soul was faint within me。 Then; in my last despair; I prayed aloud
  to Isis; to whom I had not dared to pray for many days。
  〃O Isis! Holy Mother!〃 I cried; 〃put away Thy wrath; and of Thine
  infinite pity; O Thou all…pitiful; hearken to the voice of the anguish
  of him who was Thy son and servant; but who by sin hath fallen from
  the vision of Thy love。 O throned Glory; who; being in all things;
  hast of all things understanding and of all griefs knowledge; cast the
  weight of Thy mercy against the scale of my evil…doing; and make the
  balance equal。 Look down upon my woe; and measure it; count up the sum
  of my repentance and take Thou note of the flood of sorrow that sweeps
  my soul away。 O Thou Holy; whom it was given to me to look upon face
  to face; by that dread hour of commune I summon Thee; I summon Thee by
  the mystic word。 Come; then; in mercy; to save me; or; in anger; to
  make an end of that which can no more be borne。〃
  And; rising from my knees; I stretched out my arms and dared to cry
  aloud the Word of Fear; to use which unworthily is death。
  Swiftly the answer came。 For in the silence I heard the sound of the
  shaken sistra heralding the coming of the Glory。 Then; at the far end
  of the chamber; grew the semblance of the horned moon; gleaming
  faintly in the darkness; and betwixt the golden horns rested a small
  dark cloud; in and out of which the fiery serpent climbed。
  My knees waxed loose in the presence of the Glory; and I sank down
  before it。
  Then spake the small; sweet Voice within the cloud:
  〃Harmachis; who wast my servant and my son; I have heard thy prayer;
  and the summons that thou hast dared to utter; which on the lips of
  one with whom I have communed; hath power to draw Me from the
  Uttermost。 No more; Harmachis; may we be one in the bond of Love
  Divine; for thou hast put Me away of thine own act。 Therefore; after
  this long silence I come; Harmachis; clothed in terrors; and;
  perchance; ready for vengeance; for not lightly can Isis be drawn from
  the halls of Her Divinity。〃
  〃Smite; Goddess!〃 I answered。 〃Smite; and give me over to those who
  wreak Thy vengeance; for I can no longer bear the burden of my woe!〃
  〃And if thou canst not bear thy burden here; upon this upper earth;〃
  came the soft reply; 〃how then shalt thou bear the greater burden that
  shall be laid upon thee there; coming defiled and yet unpurified into
  my dim realm of Death; that is Life and Change unending? Nay;
  Harmachis; I smite thee not; for not all am I wroth that thou hast
  dared to utter the awful Word which calls Me down to thee。 Hearken;
  Harmachis; I praise not; and I reproach not; for I am the Minister of
  Reward and Punishment and the Executrix of Decrees; and if I give; I
  give in silence; and if I smite; in silence do I smite。 Therefore; I
  will add naught to thy burden by the weight of heavy words; though
  through thee it has come to pass that soon shall Isis; the Mother…
  Mystery; be but a memory in Egypt。 Thou hast sinned; and heavy shall
  be thy punishment; as I did warn thee; both in the flesh and in my
  kingdom of Amenti。 But I told thee that there is a road of repentance;
  and surely thy feet are set thereon; and therein must thou walk with a
  humble heart; eating of the bread of bitterness; till such time as thy
  doom be measured。〃
  〃Have I; then; no hope; O holy?〃
  〃That which is done; Harmachis; is done; nor can its issues be
  altered。 Khem shall no more be free till all its temples are as the
  desert dust; strange Peoples shall; from age to age; hold her hostage
  and in bonds; new Religions shall arise and wither within the shadow
  of her pyramids; for to every World; Race; and Age the countenances of
  the Gods are changed。 This is the tree that shall spring from thy seed
  of sin; Harmachis; and from the sin of those who tempted thee!〃
  〃Alas! I am undone!〃 I cried。
  〃Yea; thou art undone; and yet shall this be given to thee: thy
  Destroyer thou shalt destroyfor so; in the purpose of my justice; it
  is ordained。 When the sign comes to thee; arise; go to Cleopatra; and
  in such manner as I shall put into thy heart do Heaven's vengeance
  upon her! And now for thyself one word; for thou hast put Me from
  thee; Harmachis; and no more shall I come face to face with thee till;
  cycles hence; the last fruit of thy sin hath ceased to be upon this
  earth! Yet; through the vastness of the unnumbered years; remember
  thou this: the Love Divine is Love Eternal; which cannot be
  extinguished; though it be everlastingly estranged。 Repent; my son;
  repent and do well while there is yet time; that at the dim end of
  ages thou mayest once more be gathered unto Me。 Still; Harmachis;
  though thou seest Me not; still; when the very name by which thou
  knowest Me has become a meaningless mystery to those who shall be
  after thee; still I; whose hours are eternalI; who have watched
  Universes wither; wane; and; beneath the breath of Time; melt into
  nothingness; again to gather; and; re…born; thread the maze of space
  still; I say; I shall companion thee。 Wherever thou goest; in whatever
  form of life thou livest; there I shall be! Art thou wafted to the
  farthest star; art thou buried in Amenti's lowest deepin lives; in
  deaths; in sleeps; in wakings; in remembrances; in oblivions; in all
  the fevers of the outer Life; in all the changes of the Spiritstill;
  if thou wilt but atone and forget Me no more; I shall be with thee;
  waiting thine hour of redemption。 For this is the nature of Love
  Divine; wherewith it loves that which partakes of its divinity and by
  the holy tie hath once been bound to it。 Judge then; Harmachis: was it
  well to put this from thee to win the dust of earthly woman? And; now;
  dare not again to utter the Word of Power till these things are done!
  Harmachis; for this season; fare thee well!〃
  As the last note of the sweet Voice died away; the fiery snake climbed
  into the heart of the cloud。 Now the cloud rolled from the horns of
  light; and was gathered into the blackness。 The vision of the crescent
  moon grew dim and vanished。 Then; as the Goddess passed; once more
  came the faint and dreadful music of the shaken sistra; and all was
  still。
  I hid my face in my robe; and even then; though my outstretched hand
  could touch the chill corpse of that father who had died cursing me; I
  felt hope come back into my heart; knowing that I was not altogether
  lost nor utterly rejected of Her whom I had forsaken; but whom I yet
  loved。 And then weariness overpowered me; and I slept。
  I woke; the faint lights of dawn were creeping from the opening in the
  roof。 Ghastly they lay upon the shadowy sculptured walls and ghastly
  upon the dead face and white beard of my father; the gathered to
  Osiris。 I started up; remembering all things; and wondering in my
  heart what I should do; and as I rose I heard a faint footfall
  creeping down the passage of the names of the Pharaohs。
  〃/La! La! La!/〃 mumbled a voice that I knew for the voice of the old
  wife; Atoua。 〃Why; 'tis dark as the House of the Dead! The Holy Ones
  who built this Temple loved not the blessed sun; however much they
  worshipped him。 Now; where's the curtain?〃
  Presently it was drawn; and Atoua entered; a stick in one hand and a
  basket in the other。 Her face was somewhat more wrinkled; and her
  scanty locks were somewhat whiter than aforetime; but for the rest she
  was as she had ever been。 She stood and peered around with her sharp
  black eyes; for as yet she could see nothing because of the shadows。
  〃Now where is he?〃 she muttered。 〃Osirisglory to His namesend that
  he has not wandered in the night; and he blind! Alack! that I could
  not return before the dark。 Alack! and alack! what times have we
  fallen on; when the Holy High Priest and the Governor; by descent; of
  Abouthis; is left with one aged crone to minister to his infirmity! O
  Harmachis; my poor boy; thou hast laid trouble at our doors! Why;
  what's this? Surely he sleeps not; there upon the ground?'twill be
  his death! Prince! Holy Father! Amenemhat! awake; arise!〃 and she
  h