420　BC
  THE　CLOUDS
  by　Aristophanes
  anonymous　translator
  CHARACTERS　IN　THE　PLAY
  STREPSIADES
  PHIDIPPIDES
  SERVANT　OF　STREPSIADES
  DISCIPLES　OF　SOCRATES
  SOCRATES
  JUST　DISCOURSE
  UNJUST　DISCOURSE
  PASIAS；　a　Money…lender
  AMYNIAS；　another　Money…lender
  CHORUS　OF　CLOUDS
  CLOUDS
  （SCENE：…In　the　background　are　two　houses；　that　of　Strepsiades　and
  that　of　Socrates；　the　Thoughtery。　The　latter　is　small　and　dingy；
  the　in；　terior　of　the　former　is　shown　and　two　beds　are　seen；　each
  occupied。）
  STREPSIADES　（sitting　up）
  GREAT　gods！　will　these　nights　never　end？　will　daylight　never　come？
  I　heard　the　cock　crow　long　ago　and　my　slaves　are　snoring　still！　Ah！　Ah！
  It　wasn't　like　this　formerly。　Curses　on　the　war！　has　it　not　done
  me　ills　enough？　Now　I　may　not　even　chastise　my　own　slaves。　Again
  there's　this　brave　lad；　who　never　wakes　the　whole　long　night；　but；
  wrapped　in　his　five　coverlets；　farts　away　to　his　heart's　content。
  （He　lies　down）　Come！　let　me　nestle　in　well　and　snore　too；　if　it　be
  possible。。。。oh！　misery；　it's　vain　to　think　of　sleep　with　all　these
  expenses；　this　stable；　these　debts；　which　are　devouring　me；　thanks
  to　this　fine　cavalier；　who　only　knows　how　to　look　after　his　long
  locks；　to　show　himself　off　in　his　chariot　and　to　dream　of　horses！
  And　I；　I　am　nearly　dead；　when　I　see　the　moon　bringing　the　third　decade
  in　her　train　and　my　liability　falling　due。。。。Slave！　light　the　lamp　and
  bring　me　my　tablets。　（The　slave　obeys。）　Who　are　all　my　creditors？
  Let　me　see　and　reckon　up　the　interest。　What　is　it　I　owe？。。。。Twelve
  minae　to　Pasias。。。。What！　twelve　minae　to　Pasias？。。。。Why　did　I　borrow
  these？　Ah！　I　know！　It　was　to　buy　that　thoroughbred；　which　cost　me　so
  much。　How　I　should　have　prized　the　stone　that　had　blinded　him！
  PHIDIPPIDES　（in　his　sleep）
  That's　not　fair；　Philo！　Drive　your　chariot　straight；　I　say。
  STREPSIADES
  This　is　what　is　destroying　me。　He　raves　about　horses；　even　in
  his　sleep。
  PHIDIPPIDES　（still　sleeping）
  How　many　times　round　the　track　is　the　race　for　the　chariots　of
  war？
  STREPSIADES
  It's　your　own　father　you　are　driving　to　death。。。。to　ruin。　Come！
  what　debt　comes　next；　after　that　of　Pasias？。。。。Three　minae　to
  Amynias　for　a　chariot　and　its　two　wheels。
  PHIDIPPIDES　（still　asleep）
  Give　the　horse　a　good　roll　in　the　dust　and　lead　him　home。
  STREPSIADES
  Ah！　wretched　boy！　it's　my　money　that　you　are　making　roll。　My
  creditors　have　distrained　on　my　goods；　and　here　are　others　again；
  who　demand　security　for　their　interest。
  PHIDIPPIDES　（awaking）
  What　is　the　matter　with　you；　father；　that　you　groan　and　turn　about
  the　whole　night　through？
  STREPSIADES
  I　have　a　bum…bailiff　in　the　bedclothes　biting　me。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  For　pity's　sake；　let　me　have　a　little　sleep。　（He　turns　over。）
  STREPSIADES
  Very　well；　sleep　on！　but　remember　that　all　these　debts　will　fall
  back　on　your　shoulders。　Oh！　curses　on　the　go…between　who　made　me　marry
  your　mother！　I　lived　so　happily　in　the　country；　a　commonplace；
  everyday　life；　but　a　good　and　easy　one…had　not　a　trouble；　not　a
  care；　was　rich　in　bees；　in　sheep　and　in　olives。　Then　indeed　I　had　to
  marry　the　niece　of　Megacles；　the　son　of　Megacles；　I　belonged　to　the
  country；　she　was　from　the　town；　she　was　a　haughty；　extravagant
  woman；　a　true　Coesyra。　On　the　nuptial　day；　when　I　lay　beside　her；　I
  was　reeking　of　the　dregs　of　the　wine…cup；　of　cheese　and　of　wool；　she
  was　redolent　with　essences；　saffron；　voluptuous　kisses；　the　love　of
  spending；　of　good　cheer　and　of　wanton　delights。　I　will　not　say　she　did
  nothing；　no；　she　worked　hard。。。to　ruin　me；　and　pretending　all　the
  while　merely　to　be　showing　her　the　cloak　she　had　woven　for　me；　I　said；
  〃Wife　you　go　too　fast　about　your　work；　your　threads　are　too　closely
  woven　and　you　use　far　too　much　wool。〃
  （A　slave　enters　witk　a　lamp。）
  SLAVE
  There　is　no　more　oil　in　the　lamp。
  STREPSIADES
  Why　then　did　you　light　such　a　thirsty　lamp？　Come　here；　I　am
  going　to　beat　you。
  SLAVE
  What　for？
  STREPSIADES
  Because　you　have　put　in　too　thick　a　wick。。。。Later；　when　we　had
  this　boy；　what　was　to　be　his　name？　It　was　the　cause　of　much
  quarrelling　with　my　loving　wife。　She　insisted　on　having　some　reference
  to　a　horse　in　his　name；　that　he　should　be　called　Xanthippus；　Charippus
  or　Callippides。　I　wanted　to　name　him　Phidonides　after　his　grandfather。
  We　disputed　long；　and　finally　agreed　to　style　him　Phidippides。。。。She
  used　to　fondle　and　coax　him；　saying；　〃Oh！　what　a　joy　it　will　be　to
  me　when　you　have　grown　up；　to　see　you；　like　my　father；　Megacles；
  clothed　in　purple　and　standing　up　straight　in　your　chariot　driving
  your　steeds　toward　the　town。〃　And　I　would　say　to　him；　〃When；　like　your
  father；　you　will　go；　dressed　in　a　skin；　to　fetch　back　your　goats
  from　Phelleus。〃　Alas！　he　never　listened　to　me　and　his　madness　for
  horses　has　shattered　my　fortune。　（He　gets　out　of　bed。）　But　by　dint
  of　thinking　the　livelong　night；　I　have　discovered　a　road　to　salvation；
  both　miraculous　and　divine。　If　he　will　but　follow　it；　I　shall　be　out
  of　my　trouble！　First；　however；　he　must　be　awakened；　but　it　must　be
  done　as　gently　as　possible。　How　shall　I　manage　it？　Phidippides！　my
  little　Phidippides！
  PHIDIPPIDES　（awaking　again）
  What　is　it；　father？
  STREPSIADES
  Kiss　me　and　give　me　your　hand。
  PHIDIPPIDES　（getting　up　and　doing　as　his　father　requests）
  There！　What's　it　all　about？
  STREPSIADES
  Tell　me！　do　you　love　me？
  PHIDIPPIDES
  By　Posidon；　the　equestrian　Posidon！　yes；　I　swear　I　do。
  STREPSIADES
  Oh；　do　not；　I　pray　you；　invoke　this　god　of　horses；　he　is　the　one
  who　is　the　cause　of　all　my　cares。　But　if　you　really　love　me；　and
  with　your　whole　heart；　my　boy；　believe　me。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  Believe　you？　about　what？
  STREPSIADES
  Alter　your　habits　forthwith　and　go　and　learn　what　I　tell　you。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  Say　on；　what　are　your　orders？
  STREPSIADES
  Will　you　obey　me　ever　so　little？
  PHIDIPPIDES
  By　Bacchus；　I　will　obey　you。
  STREPSIADES
  Very　well　then！　Look　this　way。　Do　you　see　that　little　door　and
  that　little　house？
  PHIDIPPIDES
  Yes；　father。　But　what　are　you　driving　at？
  STREPSIADES
  That　is　the　Thoughtery　of　wise　souls。　There　they　prove　that　we　are
  coals　enclosed　on　all　sides　under　a　vast　snuffer；　which　is　the　sky。　If
  well　paid；　these　men　also　teach　one　how　to　gain　law…suits；　whether
  they　be　just　or　not。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  What　do　they　call　themselves？
  STREPSIADES
  I　do　not　know　exactly；　but　they　are　deep　thinkers　and　most
  admirable　people。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  Bah！　the　wretches！　I　know　them；　you　mean　those　quacks　with　pale
  faces；　those　barefoot　fellows；　such　as　that　miserable　Socrates　and
  Chaerephon？
  STREPSIADES
  Silence！　say　nothing　foolish！　If　you　desire　your　father　not　to　die
  of　hunger；　join　their　company　and　let　your　horses　go。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  No；　by　Bacchus！　even　though　you　gave　me　the　pheasants　that
  Leogoras　raises。
  STREPSIADES
  Oh！　my　beloved　son；　I　beseech　you；　go　and　follow　their　teachings。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  And　what　is　it　I　should　learn？
  STREPSIADES
  It　seems　they　have　two　courses　of　reasoning；　the　true　and　the
  false；　and　that；　thanks　to　the　false；　the　worst　law…suits　can　be
  gained。　If　then　you　learn　this　science；　which　is　false；　I　shall　not
  have　to　pay　an　obolus　of　all　the　debts　I　have　contracted　on　your
  account。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  No；　I　will　not　do　it。　I　should　no　longer　dare　to　look　at　our　gallant
  horsemen；　when　I　had　so　ruined　my　tan。
  STREPSIADES
  Well　then；　by　Demeter！　I　will　no　longer　support　you；　neither
  you；　nor　your　team；　nor　your　saddle…horse。　Go　and　hang　yourself；　I
  turn　you　out　of　house　and　home。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  My　uncle　Megacles　will　not　leave　me　without　horses；　I　shall　go
  to　him　and　laugh　at　your　anger。
  （He　departs。　STREPSIADES　goes　over　to　SOCRATES'　house。）
  STREPSIADES
  One　rebuff　shall　not　dishearten　me。　With　the　help　of　the　gods　I
  will　enter　the　Thoughtery　and　learn　myself。　（He　hesitates。）　But　at
  my　age；　memory　has　gone　and　the　mind　is　slow　to　grasp　things。　How
  can　all　these　fine　distinctions；　these　subtleties　be　learned？
  （Making　up　his　mind）　Bah！　why　should　I　dally　thus　instead　of　rapping
  at　the　door？　Slave；　slave！
  （He　knocks　and　calls。）
  A　DISCIPLE　（from　within）
  A　plague　on　you！　Who　are　you？
  STREPSIADES
  Strepsiades；　the　son　of　Phido；　of　the　deme　of　Cicynna。
  DISCIPLE　（coming　out　of　the　door）
  You　are　nothing　but　an　ignorant　and　illiterate　fellow　to　let　fly
  at　the　door　with　such　kicks。　You　have　brought　on　a　miscarriage…of　an